Sex, Porn and Rock N Roll

Posted: December 6, 2013 in determination, Grown kids, humor, positivity

The excitement this week has been sporadic.  The kids are busy with school and work, so they are in and out quite a bit.  And now we add Christmas into the mix, so busy, busy, busy.  Emotions running high and low this time of year.  I have gotten to have some wonderful conversations with each of them.  I heard about school projects (even asking my input.  That always feels good), about upcoming dance recitals (she is a trooper, even with all the pain, she still opted for a dance class), incredible new book ideas (the new one the son in law has cooked up will be a best seller one day), input on books in the works (the sons fiance is a very talented writer in her own right).  The kids are amazing adults and I am so honored to be living here with them.  Okay, so for excitement this week…

First, I decided to walk to the library this week and put in an application for volunteering, in hopes of a job later.  So I walked the 1.5 miles there.  It was an interesting walk.  I saw horses in pastures, beautiful homes with lovely holiday decorations, and a truck passed by with a trailer on the back.  There was a horse in it that whinnied and me as it sped by.  At the library, none of the people I needed to speak with were in that day.  So, I opted to go look at books on the Cromwellian Conquest of Ireland.  I needed some more information for my book.  It turns out, those books are hard to find and had none of the information I needed.  So, I headed back home.  On the way home, I suddenly remembered I have fibromyalgia.  It doesn’t flare up very often, so I tend to forget I even have it.  But it sure flared up on the way home.  The only way I can describe the pain I felt that day would be, someone placing flathead screwdrivers in between the ball of my hip and the socket and trying to pry them apart.  I just kept placing one foot in front of the other until I made it home.  I would later accompany my daughter to the store and make dinner while the girls got all the decorations out of the attic.  They spent hours making our home beautifully festive.  We even have snowman placemats on the table with snowman bowls and a wreath and snowman napkin holder with festive napkins inside.  They even took the pot holders, hanging on the front of the oven off and replaced them with Christmas ones.  I do find it disturbing though that Santa’s face is the cover for the lid of the toilet.  Something all kinds of wrong with accidentally sitting if the lid is down.  Seriously,  sitting on Santa’s face…I suppose that would be one way to get something nice for Christmas…well or naughty… When I left the kitchen and headed to bed, I had to make my way through the kids as they sang that song from The Grinch Who Stole Christmas…Fah who for-aze! Dah who dor-aze!  My son in laws head on my son’s shoulder, and the girls holding hands and dancing as they sang.

One morning, I got up and my son’s fiance was in her living room with her laptop.  I sat down and visited with her for a while.  Then, my daughter came home from dance class and walked into the living room clad in her yoga pants and tshirt and announced to my son’s fiance…

“It’s your favorite time of day!”

Fiance shook her head and put her hand over her eyes.

I didn’t know what was going on but I was watching.  You just never know with this group.

Then my daughter says, “It’s striptease time.”

She starts dancing like a stripper and takes off her yoga pants and tosses em, then her tshirt and tosses it.

Fiance says in a very sarcastic voice, “Oh, yay.  It’s a 12 year old boy.”

Daughter starts doing “sexy” poses and says, “You can see my tats through my tights.  I love that!  I’m so sexy!”

Fiance says, “Yes, we all know you think you’re sexy.”

Daughter says, “THINK?!  I KNOW I’m sexy!”

The fiance and I just laughed and shook our heads.

Another day, I walked down the hall to get some water in the kitchen.  The girls were talking about sex shops.  The fiance’s sister is getting married and the bachelorette party is this weekend, so I assume that is where this conversation started.  But again, there are no boundaries or comfort zones in this house and I actually like it this way.  They were talking about how uncomfortable some of the workers in sex shops can make you feel.  My daughter was explaining how one worker came up to her and showed her a cock ring and said, “It goes on your lovers cock and it vibrates.”  Then she changed her tone as if the memories of use were flooding her mind and in a lower, way too pleasurable tone she said, “I love this thing.  It feels soooooooo goooooooood.”  Both of the girls laughed so hard after my daughter finished telling the story and showing us how the lady spoke.  Then the fiance was talking about the sex swing she saw in there and how the video was playing to show how to use it and she was a bit uncomfortable.  I think it is interesting how there are no comfort zones in the house, but out in public, we are more reserved and definitely have our personal space.  They also talked about seeing naked pics of Kate Moss.  They said they were very tasteful and the ‘important’ areas were covered.  They talked about how beautiful she is and how women’s bodies are so much prettier than men’s, especially in photography (my daughter is a photographer) and in art (the fiance, son in law draw.  I do, too).  But they said they got to the last pic and as they scrolled down, they were like, she is so pretty, but then, much to their surprise, there she was…no more tasteful hiding.  And they both shrieked….WHAT?!  About that time, my son walked through the room and asked what on earth they were doing and looked at the screen on their laptop.  They yelled, “Don’t look!”  and tried to cover the screen.  He just shook his head and laughed at them.  Goofy girls.

Then later I was in my room and the boys wandered in.  First, my son in law was talking to me.  After a while, they were talking to each other and that conversation was so different than anything the girls talk about.  I cannot even tell you what they were discussing but I did jot down some keywords to share on here.  They are crazy intelligent young men and the words are as follows:  fiber optics, satellites, japan, speed of light, gb and mb.  time frames, and streaming.  After a while they noticed I was typing, so I explained it was for the blog.  I think sometimes they aren’t sure what to say when they can see I am baffled by their subject matter.

At the same time, I have walked through one of the living rooms and seen something odd happening.  They each were in their own living room with their own big screen TV’s and playing a game together.  I looked at my son’s TV and saw a man in boxer shorts wearing a pig mask and carrying a gun, running through a city.  I looked at him, like ‘what on earth?’ and he looked at me like…’what?’…  I just laughed and left them to their game.

And sometimes they just shake their heads at me.  My son in law is learning to speak Russian.  He said something to me about a cigarette and motioned for the door.  I said, “Oh, are you going to go do a cigarette?”  He smiled and asked, “How does one ‘DO’ a cigarette?”  I thought for a minute and said, “Smoke it?”  He just laughed and left.  Now when he goes out to smoke he announces that he is going to go ‘do’ a cigarette.  I just laugh.

At the end of the week, we all had big plans.  Thursday was the concert the fiance and son in law were to attend.  She bought him tickets for Christmas, two months ago.  An ice storm hit, though and they were afraid they would miss the show.  They braved the storm and had an incredible experience.  They both got to shake hands with Chester Bennington.  She posted some pictures and they made it home in one piece.  My daughter braved the storm because she wanted to go out to eat and stop by the store for some cookie dough.  She picked up her friend and had a nice time.  My son stayed home and worked on his school project.  It was quite brilliant.  How I produced such a smarty is beyond me.

The storm worsened throughout the night and I awoke to clicking sounds coming from the attic.  I went up to see what it was.  Turns out the round spinny thingy on the roof is covered in ice and it is quite windy today, so it makes for a terrible sound.  School was cancelled, my son stayed home from work, as did his fiance and my daughter.  My son in law works walking distance from the house so he went on in and ended up covering for 2 other guys.  But he should be home by 5:30pm.  I was supposed to have dinner with my best friend tomorrow, but it looks like we may have to reschedule and my daughter’s dance recital is off now.  And it looks like the bachelorette party may not happen for the fiance’s sister.  So, changes of plans, but everyone is safe, happy and close enough for me to hug.

I do apologize for such a long blog, but I guess this week was packed with more excitement than I had realized, until I put it down on paper.  I do believe this is more than enough for one week.

Here is a link to my daughter’s blog.  It is this week, through her eyes.

 http://victoryasite.wordpress.com/2013/12/06/and-so-it-begins/

Thank you for reading and have a great week.  x

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Comments
  1. Meagan Price says:

    I’m almost tempted to do a blog in my view.

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