Archive for the ‘encouragement’ Category

I have always loved my birthday.  I don’t have any family members that share my special day.  It just meant so much to me that people were excited about the day I entered this world.

But now it is a very different reason.  You see, on December 22nd, 2015, I attempted suicide by swallowing a bunch of pills.  The police came and took me to a psych ward for observation.  After spending a bit of time there, I sought help with a therapist.  And now I no longer have those dark thoughts.  I have hopeful thoughts.  Positive thoughts.  And I am eternally grateful that I failed to end my life when I tried.  Grateful that I am here. Grateful for every single birthday I am blessed with, purely because I love being alive.

It’s why I take pictures of everything that I find fascinating or funny or beautiful and share them on social media.  I want to share my appreciation for life with the world.  I love listening to the train as it passes by in the night.  I love beautiful cloudy days and gorgeous sunny ones.  I love the smell of the rain and the sound it makes outside the window or on my umbrella.  I love the feel of the warm rain on my skin.  I love witty people that laugh at their own jokes even harder than the rest of us.  I love to hear people laugh.  I love the sound of dozens of voices talking when I enter a crowded place, especially places where there are family functions going on.  I love hugs.  I love kindness.  I love the roar of the ocean waves meeting the rocks and sand.  I love sunsets and sunrises. I love that first sip of coffee with my favorite creamer, in the morning.  I love the comfort of my bed at the end of a long day.  I love to dance to music, in the kitchen, when preparing food or doing dishes.  I love the hum of the fan when I fall asleep in the dark.  I love my fuzzy Star Wars pajama pants and oversized Harley Davidson sweatshirt.  I love going barefoot.  I love having hope that things will turn out okay.  I love having faith that God is in control.  I love when I see his signs so clearly leaving no room for doubt.  I love peace.  I love solitude.  I love going to the movies and out for dinner.  I love doing things on my own, feeling independent.  I also love having help from people who never make me feel indebted to them.  I love helping others.  I love doing speaking engagements.  I love impacting others lives in a positive way.  I love the castle ruins in Ireland, the sunsets at Santa Monica beach, the history in Delaware, the skies over Texas and all the people I have been blessed to meet in-between. And I love writing.  Telling the stories I watch in my mind as movies.  I love sharing those stories with others.  The love of my family and friends.  The ones who have been here for me in the darkest of times.  I love cuddles from my little dog.  And more than anything, I love my children.  To realize all the years of their hugs, hearing their laughter, being there for them through tears…that were almost gone. It makes me love life all the more.

I am here.  I am alive.  I have learned to love myself.  I have purpose.  And I am loved.

This is why my birthday is so very important to me.  Yes, every day is important to me, but I wasn’t born every day.  I was born March 15th.  That is my day to celebrate me and the life I have been blessed with.

Thank you for reading.  X

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“Appreciate someone else’s beauty without questioning your own.”  That is a variation of a meme I recently read.  It spoke volumes to me.  I really struggle with this one.  There have been times in my life that I have sadly invited people in who would tell me the most awful things about myself.  In turn, I actually started to listen to them after years of hearing the negative.  I would hear them call me beautiful, until they were angry about something…anything really.  Then I would hear them call me the most horrific of names.I think the one that stuck the most, the one I am still working to overcome, was old fatass. I allowed that one to do some serious damage.

I have learned that it is important to be secure in yourself.  You have to be so secure in yourself that words like that don’t settle in your mind and shake your self perception. That is so much easier said than done.  The first step is to remove negative, hurtful people from you inner circle.  Surround yourself with people who see your beauty.  People that mirror the love and kindness that you so generously share.  The second step for me was therapy. Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) is working wonders for me.  It teaches me to stop and think, the second I hear those awful words ringing in my ears.  I replace them with the loving things I have heard others tell me.  Then I replace even that with loving words I tell myself.  That right there is what matters more than anything.  The loving words I tell myself.  I make a list of the things I like about myself.  I remember that the things I do not like about myself are either changeable or they are things about me that make me unique. Unique is often ridiculed.  It shouldn’t be.  Unique is what keeps this world from being mundane.  Unique is what adds character.  Think about it.  When you walk into someone’s home and see a standard, cookie cutter room.  You generally think, what a lovely home. But when you walk in and there are pieces of furniture you have never seen before, or artwork that is new to you, it is an instant conversation piece.  That is because it is unique. We need to learn to embrace our unique qualities.  Stay away from those who ridicule those precious parts of us.  Those people, most likely, do not like the unique parts of themselves and are projecting that self loathing onto you.  Pray for them, send them positive vibes, but keep them at a distance.  That kind of negativity can wear you down, get into your mind and poison you, as well.  The things we surround ourselves with are the things we become.

It’s like a person who is drowning.  It takes a life guard, equipped with a life preserver to save them.  If someone who isn’t a professional swimmer attempts to save them, the person going under will pull them down, too.  They won’t mean to, but in their panic for survival, they will cause you to go down with them.  It is much like that in life.  It takes a professional to help a hurting person get better.  And only that hurting person can decide if they want that help.  Sticking around and trying to guide them to help, will only make them angry and get you hurt.  Pray for them, send them positive vibes, but keep them at a distance.

Now that I have explained how best to feed your self love, and what to avoid, let’s go back to the original thought here.  Learning to appreciate someone else’s beauty without questioning your own.  I have been doing better about that.  I used to cringe every time I saw someone young and thin.  I wanted to cower in a corner to hide my old fatass.  I didn’t want them to see me.  I was afraid they were internally criticizing me and laughing at me. Perhaps even judging me.  I am getting better.  Now when I see them, my first thought is, her skin is so young and smooth.  She is beautiful.  I just admire those people as works of art.  I do not go into an art gallery and see a beautiful painting and get angry because I cannot paint that well.  I do not listen to singers that give me goosebumps and feel angry because I cannot carry a tune in a bucket.  I look at the painting or hear the song and I feel something special.  I am filled with appreciation for what I am experiencing.  I am seeing people in that same light now.  I hear a voice that is sultry and sexy and just love listening to it.  I see eyes that look like crystal blue pools and I just love looking at them.  I see youth and watch the how carefree they are and I am glad they are getting to experience that time in their lives, because it changes as the responsibilities begin.

I will end this piece with something that I experienced at work recently.  It reaffirmed that we need to appreciate the beauty in others, not question our own.  A young woman, early twenties was in my line, her toddler in the seat of the shopping cart.  The woman was beautiful.  Her brown hair in a short pixie cut, big brown eyes and she was thin.  I wondered what her secret was to staying thin after having a child.  Maybe she works out, I thought.  I couldn’t take my eyes off her.  She was captivating.  But she was also nervous. She dropped her purse, then a few of the items she was putting on the belt.  She kept apologizing for everything she did.  She apologized to the lady behind her for taking so long.  She apologized to me as she dropped her money again, handing it to me.  I gently asked her if she was okay.  She stopped and looked me in the eyes and said, “No.  I have to have an emergency hysterectomy and I am scared.”  I said, “It will be okay.  I had one at twenty-five.”  Then her eyes filled with tears and she said, “And I just found out I have cancer.  That’s why they need to do the hysterectomy.”  She turned and kissed her toddler on the head, tears streaming down her face.  I told her I was so sorry and that I would be praying for her.  She thanked me and left with her items and her child.  My heart hurt so badly for her.  I realized how ridiculous it was for me to wonder how she looked the way she did.  I should have done nothing more than appreciate her beauty.  I will remember that from now on.  It doesn’t matter how a person has the qualities we admire.  All that matters is that we admire them without questioning them or our own.

So that is what I am going to do from now on.  Learn to appreciate someone else’s beauty, without questioning my own.

Thank you for reading.  X

 

Oh, where to begin.  Starting over is never easy.  The last time I started over it was exciting.  I had a plan.  Well, sort of had a plan.  More like, I had a man.  I have always had a man there to take care of me in some way.  I lived on my own when I was a teenager.  I moved in with my best friend three weeks after graduating high school.  She and I had been besties for 6 years.  It was exciting and new, but within a year I had struck out on my own.  I lived in a small condo that was on the border of foreclosure.  I rented from a nice man and his wife for a year.  I didn’t make much money and nearly starved to death.  My average weight is 125.  I met a nice man at work.  He was 15 years my senior.  My weight was down to 104 pounds.  He fed me and I married him.  I knew from the start that we married for the wrong reasons.  I moved into his home, when to his church, learned to like many of the things that he liked.  I conformed to his way of life.  By the end of the relationship I found myself going from being a sheltered housewife to a bounty hunter, then a makeup artist at a department store.  Two children and nearly twenty years later we divorced.  I ended up in another long term relationship.  I moved from Texas to Delaware to be with him.  I ended up on welfare until the state offered me a career opportunity.  I did the schooling and became a Certified Nurses Assistant.  I worked in home health and took care of mostly elderly patients.  Many of them over 90.  After a few years they would pass on and I would be devastated.  I stayed in that relationship for 5 years.  He was a quadriplegic.  That was why I chose to become a CNA.  I conformed to his way of life.  It ended and I wanted to move to Maine.  My dream was to live in a little house by a lighthouse and write.  Maybe work as a barmaid.  But my kids were grown and renting a house in Texas.  My daughter and her husband, my son and his then fiance’ (now wife). They had an extra bedroom and asked me to live with them while I got on my feet.  So I did.  Maine could wait for a while.  I missed my kids.  It was the most amazing year, living with the four of them.  I got to know my son in law and daughter in law.  I love them.  In fact, she is one of my closest friends now. We talk about everything.   Within a month of moving in with them and anxious to heal and figure out who I was and what I wanted, I fell right into my next relationship.  I wasn’t ready for a relationship but I didn’t know that at the time.

We would do the long distance thing for a year and then I moved to California to be with him.  I moved into his apartment, learned the ropes of travel, learned the art of public speaking.  I conformed to his way of life.  Are you seeing a pattern here?  This relationship ended, too.  I am still broken over this one.  I am still in love with him and he is still in love with me, but we both know we did the right thing.  Personal reasons that I will not go into.

So here I am.  But this time, my mind is different.  I was in cognitive behavior therapy for the last year.  The state of California offered to help me after my suicide attempt.  They offered me free therapy if I was willing to become a case study.  I agreed.  It made a huge difference in me.  I am starting the workbook over.  The last time I worked through it, I did it all from the perspective of one trying to save a relationship.  Now I am doing it from the correct perspective.  I am doing it so I can heal.  So I can be stronger, more in touch with that little voice that tells me when something is wrong.  I can look back on my life and see that in almost every heartbreaking or devastating situation I found myself in, I heard that little voice first.  I would argue with it and try to reason away my concerns.  I don’t do that anymore.  I listen now.  I seek out that little voice now through prayer.  This is not a get out of jail free card for the ones who have chosen to hurt me.  It is simply me taking responsibility for my own poor decisions.

I admit, I am scared.  I haven’t been ‘on my own’ since I was nineteen years old.  And really, this is the first time I have been 100% single since I was a teen.  Not someone hurting over a recently ended relationship and falling into new one immediately.  I am not open to being taken advantage of due to my vulnerability.  I am vulnerable, my emotions are raw, my mind still goes in and out of feeling independent to feeling like a scared little mouse in a the middle of a herd of elephants and looking for a safe place.  Then I remember, I have one of the strongest support systems one could ask for.  I have a hundred arms ready to give me a much needed hug.  I am at a place in my life that I have never experienced before.  And I am eternally grateful for the friendships that have stayed intact since my last break up.  He introduced me to a world of people that welcome the hurting, the lonely and the scared.  They not only welcome you, but once they take you in, they never let you go.  I have blessings that have remained from all the difficult situations that I have somehow put myself in.  Something good has always come from any of the bad in my life.  And I am so very grateful.

So here I am.  I have gone from a life of luxury and travel to one of very low pay, lots of hard work cashiering and time to focus on me and heal.  I paid all my bills this month and had money for food.  My son and his wife have taken me in until I can get on my feet.  I wake up to people who love me and encourage me every single day.  I get hugs and I love you’s.  I have a place to work, with people I consider friends.  I feel loved every where I go. I have an online community who supports me.  And most of all, I have me.  I am learning to love me and believe in me.  I am taking it one day at a time.  Some days I fail, some days I cry and some days I smile.  And other days, like today, I do it all.

Thank you for taking the time to read.  I love you all.  x

Hello everyone.  My blog is a bit late this week, as I have been preoccupied with my new love interest and with writing my novel.

So first things first.  This has been a whirlwind of a week and I have been so happy sleep has eluded me.  I lay there in my bed and my mind spins around recalling the scenes I have written, people I have spoken with and the words my love shared with me.  My heart is just so full right now.  Friends, family and love.  What more do you need?  Well, food…and I keep forgetting to eat.  But I still love all of this.

I start my new job at Dollar Tree on Wednesday, that will pay my bills until my book is out.  I was approached by a fellow author, asking if he could possibly use one of my pictures for the cover of his book.  He may use it and he may not, but either way it was an honor that he even considered me.  I also found out this week that I have an editor.  Another fellow author and dear friend arranged that for me.  Facebook has been such a wonderful blessing.  The fantastic people I have met there have truly enriched my life and continue to do so.  I only hope I can return that for them somehow.

I went to a birthday party for my son in laws aunt and had a fabulous time there.  Good people, good food and white wine.  I am an introvert and at one point I wondered off onto the back porch and visited with people.  I even pulled a chair up and sat among them…not off to the side somewhere.  My daughter went looking for me and she came out and found me.  She said, “Well, look at you.  Socializing.  I’m so proud of you!”  lol  Then later I was sitting on the couch and the sweetest girl in the world sat on my lap and kissed me.  That’s what happens when you go to a party and drink too much.  I will post a pic.  😉

Then before we left, my son in law’s grandmother (a feisty fiery woman that I just adore) says to me, “I know a book you should write.  You should write a mystery called ‘where the hell did my right breast go?'”  Then she lifted up her shirt and showed me her mastectomy scar.  That woman is one proud survivor!  Gotta admire that!  Anyway, it was a wonderful visit like something out of a movie.  Wood floors, country music, dancing, smoking, drinking, laughing, hugging, eating and just all around a loving wonderful bunch.

And lastly, last night was crazy.  I moved away from a place where violence abounded.  gunshots, fires and stabbings in the apartment complex.  It never seemed too bad though.  I was used to it I suppose.  But now I live in another state in a nice neighborhood.  So there should not be such things.  Well, there was a whole group of teens screaming and such in the middle of the night, so we went to the window to see what was happening.  My son in law went out there to ask and I’ll be damned if a gun didn’t go off.  sigh  This stuff just follows me around.  It’s crazy.  So I will do my best to stay out of your neighborhood.  Because I’m nice that way, of course my current neighbors may argue that.

Well, that seems enough excitement for one week.  Now wish me luck on finishing the book, starting the new job and sleep.  And wish my new love luck…he’s gonna have his hands full with me.

Thank you for reading and have a great week. x

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As you all know, the last two weeks have been very trying with this house filled to the brim with sickness.  The only sounds, for days, were coughs and vomiting.  But things are back to normal now and I am so grateful.

This week has been slow as we were all gaining our strength back.  I did go out and get applications for employment from a dozen places or so.  Some were hiring, some were not, but all say you can fill out an application and they will put them on file.  Who knows if they really do, but I will give it a go.  Really, I want to be a cashier.  No quotas, no pressure sales, no keeping up with food orders, just cashiering.  I need a part time job so I can keep writing my novel.

Speaking of my novel.  I am almost to the halfway mark.  And I put off a scene for the last few days, due to the nature of the scene.  The first day I tried to write it, I ended up putting finding a thousand other things that needed doing.  You see, I bought the coolest fold up table and chair set from Spiderlegs.com and I will post a picture of them folded and one of them opened up.  Anyway, The word procrastinate has a ‘pro’ at the beginning for a reason. Seems I am one when it comes to procrastination. So, a couple hours ago I sat at my new table with my new chair to start writing. As I sat there I noticed the carpet could sure use some vacuuming, so I got up and started to put stuff from the floor to the bed. But then I thought, “I was sick for the last couple weeks, I really should wash my bedding.” So I stripped my bed and put it in the washer. While in the utility room I thought, “I should probably go ahead and wash my clothes while I am at it.” So I came back in the bedroom and into the closet to get the hamper. I took it to the utility room but came back to clean up the closet. I had packages in there I still need to mail for Christmas and they needed to be wrapped. So I wrapped them. And yes, I still need to mail them…again…PROcrastinator. Well after all that, I finally put stuff on the bed and vacuumed. After the floor looked so nice, I noticed the furniture needed dusting. So I dusted it and then I thought, “I need to take pictures of the table and chair, but I need to fold them first and take a pic like that.” But I couldn’t figure out how to do it. So I had to look for the directions. I found them and got it all folded and took pics and put them back together and took more pics and then I got my room put back together. Now I am plum wore out so I am resting and telling you all why I haven’t written yet. It’s because I am a pro.  So, last night I decided the scene must be done, no matter how painful.  One of my favorite child characters had to die.  It was the hardest scene I have written yet.  I cried so hard, I had trouble seeing the screen to finish.  I also listen to classical music when I write and to top off the moment, My Heart Will Go On came on Pandora and played throughout the whole end of the scene.  I was a blubbering mess who had to go get a hug from my daughter.  I was so glad she was still up.

Now as far as things getting back to normal.  I decided I needed to make some gluten free pancakes at 11:30pm.  So I was in the kitchen cooking when the kids wandered in, one by one.  At one point, my son was trying to show us all something on his phone and my son in law came in with pigtails in his hair.  He ended up chasing my son’s fiance around the island, them bumping me as I cooked and my daughter was singing How Much Is That Doggy in the Window to her dog, Cyanide.  It made me smile to see things were back to normal in our home.  I love these kids with all my heart.

And things are progressing nicely with my new friend.  He is a gem and makes me curious to see where things will go.

Okay, that’s enough for now.  Thank you for reading and have a great week.  x

Don’t forget to check out my son’s fiance’s blog.

http://theotherdaughterofshe.wordpress.com/2014/01/17/a-bad-nanny-with-a-bad-haircut/

And my daughter’s blog.

http://victoryasite.wordpress.com/2014/01/17/i-am-the-queen-of-the-world-and-my-secret-to-success-is/

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This week has been spent in ER’s and in bed.  My household has had the stomach flu and bronchitis.  A week ago Monday, my son’s fiance had to go to the ER with the stomach flu.  As the week wore on, my daughter was terribly sick with coughing and fever.  On Friday I took her to the ER, as well.  As I sat in the waiting area in the coziest ER I have ever been in, I noticed a gorgeous piece hanging on the wall.  It had little candle holders all over it.  I really need one of those for my room.  Anyway, we were only there for like twenty minutes and out came my daughter.  They said she had bronchitis and gave us three prescriptions to be filled.  So I went to the pharmacy and called the house to see if anyone else needed anything.  By that point, my son was coughing, too.  So I picked up some medicine for him.  I took my daughter home and realized the pharmacy forgot one of the prescriptions.  So I ran back up there.  And got the last one, then finally home.

By Saturday morning I was sick, too.  Bronchitis and stomach flu.  Everytime I went into a coughing fit, I threw up.  Nothing helped.  A few days in, I was still coughing and throwing up at 12:30am.  My son in law (was a medic in the army) came in and had me come to the living room with my throw up bucket, blanket and pillow and lay on the couch.  He gave me medicine for nausea, a glass of water and turned on Game of Thrones.  That is my favorite show ever right now and he is getting me caught up before the new season starts.  He read the books, so he fills me in on things the show doesn’t explain.  He sat up with me for an hour and a half, until my tummy settled and I could sleep.  My daughter picked a good one.  By the next day, he was sick, too.  I lay there in my bed and listened to all five of us coughing and thought…”This must have been what it sounded like hundreds of years ago when a house would get bronchitis.  And so many didn’t survive back then.  I hate how sick we all are and hearing all the coughs, but I love knowing we will all be okay soon.”

After that, I knew I would not need to go to the ER, which is a good thing.  My last trip to the ER back in August has left me with a 7k hospital bill.  And speaking of that bill.  I need a job.  I was finally feeling well enough to venture out to the grocery store yesterday.  So we are now stocked up on everything we need and I picked up job applications while I was out.  Now let’s just cross our fingers that I am working by this time next week.

In the midst of all this sickness and bedrest, I have made a new friend.  He lives a long way from me, but fascinates me to no end.  He is a fellow writer and even published.  We have much to talk about and he’s been wonderful to get to know during this time that I have been confined to my bed.  He has led an intriguing life, which he has written about in his published books.  I am currently reading the first one.  I will let you know when I finish it.

So in a nutshell, we have been sick, we are getting better, I got applications to try to get a job and I made a new friend.   Not too bad for slow week.

Thank you for reading and have a great week. x

And here is the link to my son’s fiance’s blog.  Check her out.  http://theotherdaughterofshe.wordpress.com/2014/01/10/heart-snatcher-and-my-addiction/

And here is my daughter’s blog.  Check her out, too.  http://victoryasite.wordpress.com/2014/01/10/he-can-really-minimize-and-zip-up-fast/

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I had so much fun Monday night it was ridiculous.  We will be going out again soon.  One of my sweetest friends in the whole wide world called me Sunday night to see if I was free on Monday.  He has scored some tickets to a Cirque du Soleil type show and wanted to take me.  I said I was available and on Monday I sent him a text and asked him, “What are you wearing tonight?”  He called and asked, “What?”  So I said again, “What are you wearing?”  He said, “Lacey panties…..what are YOU wearing?”  I laughed and he said, “Jeans and a tshirt.”  haha   So it was casual.  He came and got me and we had a wonderful time.  When we left, we walked to his apartment.  He lives in the building I wanted to live in, back before I moved to Delaware.  And I was right…it was perfect for me.  I am so jealous.  He has wall to wall canvases of his artwork.  We discussed each piece.  I would ask question after question.  And I saw this one piece that was SO beautiful.  I just fell in love with it.  And he gave it to me.  I will attach a picture of it.  After we left his place, we walked across the street to his favorite bar, so he could get some matches.  And as you walk through the bar, you see original artwork all over the walls.  It’s a bar for artists!  It was amazing!

So I was carrying my piece of art and we were walking through old downtown and I saw the park and the beautiful Christmas lights.  He asked if I would like to go for a walk through the park and he reached over and wove his fingers between mine.  So we walked hand in hand looking at the beautiful lights.  After that he brought me home and came in.  He took off a shoe and sock and hung a sock on my door to freak out my kids.  I am always telling them that if they see a sock on the door that means stay out because I will have a man in my room.  He knew they would laugh.  We have known each other for six years and as he puts it, I do not have the right equipment for his interests.  My kids know this.  So he laid on my bed and I showed him my own artwork.  We talked about the books we are writing and the people we plan to go out with.  Then he needed to go and he began to undress.  I giggled and said, “oooooo What are we doing now?”  He said, I wanna freak out your kids again.  So half undressed we walked out of my room and my daughter saw us and he said, “Damn, your mom is good.”  And I said, “I almost have him batting for the other team.”  She laughed and laughed and said, “You two are not right.”  So he got dressed and hugged me and kissed me and told me he loves me.  We will be doing this again soon and I can’t wait!

I also had a night with my son’s fiance.  She has been a little stressed since she lost her mom, this past summer.  And her sister is getting married this weekend and his fiance is the maid of honor.  She is also filling in for their mom, doing all the things mom would normally be doing.  So we had a night with just the two of us.  He had hot wings and fries…totally blowing our healthy eating choices and put on Brothers Grimm.  We didn’t really see much of the movie, as we were talking the whole time.  She was so precious.  She wouldn’t let anyone come in the room with us.  My son in law came in and looked at the t.v.  She glared at him and then he looked at her…She said, “It’s my night with Madre.  Go away!”  He slowly eased out of the room.  I giggled.  She seemed a lot less stressed by the end of the evening and that really made me happy.  I just love her so much.

My daughter wanted an Elf on a Shelf, so I got her one.  My son’s fiance detests them and says they are creepy.  So my daughter would place the elf in areas where my son’s fiance would find them and freak out.  My daughter always had the elf holding a sign that said DIE and a knife in his hands.  I would see the elf all over the house and shake my head and smile.  Every time my son’s fiance would find the elf, she would remove the knife and hide him.  Then my daughter would search the house and find him and place him again.  This went on for day and was very entertaining to watch.

Christmas was amazing this year.  I have been away from my children on Christmas morning for the last four years.  I woke up to the sounds of the kids exciting announcing it was Christmas morning, outside my door.  Then they came in and got me.  When I got to the living room, the lights were on the tree, the presents in piles by person, Nat King Cole’s “The Christmas Song” playing on the big screen t.v. and my son had a place picked out, on the other side of him on the couch.  I watched as the kids opened their presents from each other and me.  It was so fun, my son’s fiance was in charge of everything.  She would say when we could open a gift, because she wanted to watch everyones reaction and see what all they got, my son in law teased her about being bossy, my daughter was half asleep and my son was just so happy, he is much like me in these instances.  My heart was so full, I thought it would burst.  I got some wonderful gifts, but I would have been happy with just being there, in that moment.

And the last thing I will be writing about for the week, my date.  I went on a date this week.  Not a friend date, but a real date.  We have known each other since high school.  Neither of us has really changed that much, just older really.  We had a lot to talk about.  He moved to LA a good 8 years ago and has made a name for himself as a voice actor.  So he is familiar with websites, fans, podcasts, marketing and things of that nature.  It was wonderful to pick his brain til two this morning.  We went out to dinner and stayed til they closed, just getting caught up.  Then we decided to go out for coffee.  It was so cold out.  No Starbucks were open after eleven.  So we ended up in a Waffle house.  Interesting thing happened.  It seems I did rip one on our first date…that is…I ripped my one pair of jeans, right up the back.  Luckily, I wore a brown suede vest over my grey top and favorite jeans, with brown boots.  The vest hung mid calf which ended up being a life saver for me.  One of the times we climbed back in the car, my jeans ripped up the back.  My favorite, fifteen year old jeans ripped up the back of my ass.  It was so funny.  We both laughed and laughed and I told him…”See, never a dull moment with me.”  He said, “Your life plays out like a sitcom.”  I said, “You have no idea.”  And we laughed some more.  It was a lovely evening.

And that is it for this week.  As always, it’s been a good one.  I hope you all had a wonderful holiday and have a happy new year.

Until next year.  Thank you for reading and have a great week.  x

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